Dining, going to a theater, or just visiting a museum solo seemed foreign to me. So when a coworker (30 years senior) said to me, “You’re going to have to be independent in this job, or you will miss out on cool experiences." I thought to myself - “I am fine, I will just order room service, and watch HGTV."
In the last 45 years, I counted only twice that I had flown solo. Heck, I had never even heard of an Uber before. So since I was working and traveling more in this industry, I realized that I needed to get out of my comfort zone and travel, "Solo.”
The fear of moving or making changes
〜Tropophobia〜
Taking a train to the big city by yourself - dining at a table for one - or discovering attractions without another seems lonely, right? At first I questioned my career choice, but quickly changed my thought process. I had to be strong somehow and figure out a way to do things alone.
I discovered the first couple of years traveling solo that I was far from being lonely. Building self-worth, confidence, and independence toward becoming the best I could be as a solo traveler. People who travel solo don’t need to be around others to become a master of their happiness.
“The man who goes alone can start today: but
he who travels with another must
wait till that other is ready.”
〜 Henry David Thoreau〜
Here are a few suggestions to building yourself into a confident and independent solo traveler:
Visit Museums
Visiting museums is ideal for a budding solo traveler. Most museums have security, and are accessible four seasons out of the year. Be sure to look at websites for times and tickets before you leave home.
My first solo public transportation was on a train from Alexandria, VA to D.C. I prepared myself for that cold-crisp winter day with a down coat, even though plenty of warmth was brewing underneath with excitement and apprehension. I had never before stepped into an Uber, train, or rented a car alone.
The Mall of Washington D.C of course has our nation's memorials, exhibits, and museums. Emotionally I looked down from the Lincoln Memorial across the pool and city, not holding back tears throughout the day. Especially during my visit to the Holocaust Museum.
As I walked through gardens, museums, and memorials I realized the importance of planning and strategizing directions.
A word that comes to mind for this trip is familiarity, with each future visit it becomes easier. The takeaway is replacing fears with confidence while traveling solo.
2. Dining Solo
Eating food that you love, and choose! Or trying that restaurant that you drooled over while streaming those food shows. This is a powerful step to becoming a true solo traveler. An opportunity to meet new people, read, work on the computer or catch up on social media.
At first, dining solo can be uncomfortable, especially in a new city or town. Maybe you feel like you’re being judged by taking that six-person table (for one), or that people are staring at you. No worries this will pass! The more you eat alone the quicker you feel comfortable.
My first trip to Sitka, AK I found a charming coffee shop behind a bookstore. The ambiance had a lighting of orange hue. A perfect place to write in my journal, enjoy a latte or tea, while tasting rhubarb pie fresh out of the oven. Three little girls sat on stools, hands wrapped around their warm mugs of hot chocolate topped with plenty of whipping cream and colorful sprinkles.
What a great vibe, “Something in between socializing and relaxing,” said Meik Wiking from The Little Book of Hygge.
My word to ponder is observe. Eventually feeling comfortable, while building independence, dining solo.
Some journeys can be only traveled alone!
〜Ken Poirot〜
3. Look For Harbors
Harbors are the best places to find treasures. Take that Uber/Lyft, train, bus, or walk.
I will never forget the time I went for a walk along the waterfront in Baltimore. I came across these amazing-looking townhouses on the waterfront. Tucked in-between them was this small quaint Italian/grocery bistro, where I discovered and ate the most delicious cannoli’s after my lunch.
Or when I sat with my back toward the harbor in Sitka, AK and heard this spraying sound. Do I dare turn around, I asked myself? Slowly I turned and looked in the eyes of a fat sea lion. I swear he was laughing at me. Not a soul around, I froze, my eyes widened as I smiled back.
Later I would find out my fellow sea lion was not friends with the local fisherman.
Words for this moment would be to discover. Exploring solo is absolutely the best way to discover YOU! Don’t let fear stop you from finding treasures. During your journeys you could cross paths with birds, wild animals, or even mammals.
4. Walk A Garden, Park, Trail
There is never a shortage of gardens or trails for the solo traveler. Plan and do your research about the areas. 1) Ask, ask, ask tons of questions about not only the safety regarding crime, but the dangers of wildlife in the area. 2) Let co-workers, family, and front desk clerks know your plans and whereabouts.
My first Lyft ride was with this friendly local driver/tour guide to a beautiful plantation in Charleston, SC, where I would see gorgeous mossy-trees and yes - alligators in the waters. That was a little nerve racking, but I had a heads up to be on the lookout.
My first hike solo was at the Totem Pole Park in Sitka, AK. It was an amazing day hike where I came across a huge bald eagle looking down from a tree snag. Looking like he/she never missed a meal.
Yes, there were times I was warned to not go on a trail because of bear sightings, or to stay away from those moose snap dab in the city. But just my imagination was enough to keep me happily obliged.
Experiences like these help push someone out of their comfort zone, and also teaches them to be aware of their surroundings.
My word for this segment is courage. The lesson learned would be safety comes first, and to be aware of your surroundings.
“Don’t be scared to walk alone.
Don’t be scared to like it.”
〜John Mayer〜
5. Finding Unique Stores
Amazing antique stores, local farmers' markets, and grocery stores are in most cities and towns.
I was in Honolulu, Hawaii, on Christmas Eve one year when I walked through a mall attached to my hotel. The holiday décor was festive, and the spirit relaxing as the warm ocean breeze came upon me. I remember that night being so magical that not being home with my family was a little less sad.
A solo trip to Boston I visited this local grocery store where I purchased a live lobster that they steamed. For a reasonable price of $8.00. I took it to my hotel kitchenette, slathered it with butter and spices, and bam!! Yummy!
In Philly while I purchased their local favorite foods, I also got the pleasure of buying homemade goods from the Amish.
Throughout the years I have enjoyed buying pieces of art from local artists. Getting Christmas ornaments for my kids. Or bringing back pizza from (Chicago), popcorn (Ketchikan, AK), cookies, and candy from (Hawaii).
Finally my last word regarding solo traveling would be to experience. Whether it's finding some gem of a store, or buying local art you are able to absorb local cultures.
So the next time someone tells you they can’t go with you on your next trip, don’t cancel yet. There is a possibility to do it solo. Build amazing friendships, be present, and focus on YOU! Travel solo.
“People who have found a balance with themselves and can be happy doing things on their own also develop a fierce independence!”
This article does not take the place of health professionals. This article speaks of my personal experience only and what works for me in my personal journey.
