How Traveling Solo Got Me Out Of My Comfort Zone!

Dining, going to a theater, or just visiting a museum solo seemed foreign to me. So when a coworker (30 years senior) said to me, “You’re going to have to be independent in this job, or you will miss out on cool experiences." I thought to myself - “I am fine, I will just order room service, and watch HGTV." 

In the last 45 years, I counted only twice that I had flown solo. Heck, I had never even heard of an Uber before. So since I was working and traveling more in this industry, I realized that I needed to get out of my comfort zone and travel, "Solo.”  

The fear of moving or making changes

〜Tropophobia〜 

Taking a train to the big city by yourself - dining at a table for one - or discovering attractions without another seems lonely, right? At first I questioned my career choice, but quickly changed my thought process. I had to be strong somehow and figure out a way to do things alone. 

I discovered the first couple of years traveling solo that I was far from being lonely. Building self-worth, confidence, and independence toward becoming the best I could be as a solo traveler. People who travel solo don’t need to be around others to become a master of their happiness. 

“The man who goes alone can start today: but

he who travels with another must

 wait till that other is ready.” 

〜 Henry David Thoreau〜

Here are a few suggestions to building yourself into a confident and independent solo traveler:

1. Visit Museums

Visiting museums is ideal for a budding solo traveler. Most museums have  security, and are accessible four seasons out of the year. Be sure to look at  websites for times and tickets before you leave home.

My first solo public transportation was on a train from Alexandria, VA to D.C. I prepared myself for that cold-crisp winter day with a down coat, even though plenty of warmth was brewing underneath with excitement and apprehension. I had never before stepped into an Uber, train, or rented a car alone.

The Mall of Washington D.C of course has our nation's memorials, exhibits, and museums. Emotionally I looked down from the Lincoln Memorial across the pool and city, not holding back tears throughout the day. Especially during my visit to the Holocaust Museum.

As I walked through gardens, museums, and memorials I realized the importance of planning and strategizing directions. 

A word that comes to mind for this trip is familiarity, with each future visit it becomes easier. The takeaway is replacing fears with confidence while traveling solo.

2. Dining Solo

Eating food that you love, and choose! Or trying that restaurant that you drooled over while streaming those food shows. This is a powerful step to becoming a true solo traveler. An opportunity to meet new people, read, work on the computer or catch up on social media.

At first, dining solo can be uncomfortable, especially in a new city or town. Maybe you feel like you’re being judged by taking that six-person table (for one), or that people are staring at you. No worries this will pass! The more you eat alone the quicker you feel comfortable.

My first trip to Sitka, AK I found a charming coffee shop behind a bookstore. The ambiance had a lighting of orange hue. A perfect place to write in my journal, enjoy a latte or tea, while tasting rhubarb pie fresh out of the oven. Three little girls sat on stools, hands wrapped around their warm mugs of hot chocolate topped with plenty of whipping cream and colorful sprinkles.

What a great vibe, “Something in between socializing and relaxing,” said Meik Wiking from The Little Book of Hygge. 

My word to ponder is observe. Eventually feeling comfortable, while  building independence, dining solo. 

 Some journeys can be only traveled alone!

〜Ken Poirot〜

3. Look For Harbors

Harbors are the best places to find treasures. Take that Uber/Lyft, train, bus, or walk. 

I will never forget the time I went for a walk along the waterfront in Baltimore. I came across these amazing-looking townhouses on the waterfront. Tucked in-between them was this small quaint Italian/grocery bistro, where I discovered and ate the most delicious cannoli’s after my lunch. 

Or when I sat with my back toward the harbor in Sitka, AK and heard this spraying sound. Do I dare turn around, I asked myself? Slowly I turned and looked in the eyes of a fat sea lion. I swear he was laughing at me. Not a soul around, I froze, my eyes widened as I smiled back.

Later I would find out my fellow sea lion was not friends with the local fisherman. 

Words for this moment would be to discover. Exploring solo is absolutely the best way to discover YOU! Don’t let fear stop you from finding treasures. During your journeys you could cross paths with birds, wild animals, or even mammals.

4. Walk A Garden, Park, Trail

There is never a shortage of gardens or trails for the solo traveler. Plan and do your research about the areas. 1) Ask, ask, ask tons of questions about not only the safety regarding crime, but the dangers of wildlife in the area. 2) Let co-workers, family, and front desk clerks know your plans and whereabouts. 

My first Lyft ride was with this friendly local driver/tour guide to a beautiful plantation in Charleston, SC, where I would see gorgeous mossy-trees and yes - alligators in the waters. That was a little nerve racking, but I had a heads up to be on the lookout.

My first hike solo was at the Totem Pole Park in Sitka, AK. It was an amazing day hike where I came across a huge bald eagle looking down from a tree snag. Looking like he/she never missed a meal. 

Yes, there were times I was warned to not go on a trail because of bear sightings, or to stay away from those moose snap dab in the city. But just my imagination was enough to keep me happily obliged.

Experiences like these help push someone out of their comfort zone, and also teaches them to be aware of their surroundings.

My word for this segment is courage. The lesson learned would be safety comes first, and to be aware of your surroundings.

“Don’t be scared to walk alone.

 Don’t be scared to like it.”

〜John Mayer〜

5. Finding Unique Stores

Amazing antique stores, local farmers' markets, and grocery stores are in most cities and towns.

I was in Honolulu, Hawaii, on Christmas Eve one year when I walked through a mall attached to my hotel. The holiday décor was festive, and the spirit relaxing as the warm ocean breeze came upon me. I remember that night being so magical that not being home with my family was a little less sad. 

A solo trip to Boston I visited this local grocery store where I purchased a live lobster that they steamed. For a reasonable price of $8.00. I took it to my hotel kitchenette, slathered it with butter and spices, and bam!! Yummy! 

In Philly while I purchased their local favorite foods, I also got the pleasure of buying homemade goods from the Amish.

Throughout the years I have enjoyed buying pieces of art from local artists. Getting Christmas ornaments for my kids. Or bringing back pizza from (Chicago), popcorn (Ketchikan, AK), cookies, and candy from (Hawaii).

Finally my last word regarding solo traveling would be to experience. Whether it's finding some gem of a store, or buying local art you are able to absorb local cultures.

So the next time someone tells you they can’t go with you on your next trip, don’t cancel yet. There is a possibility to do it solo. Build amazing friendships, be present, and focus on YOU! Travel solo.

“People who have found a balance with themselves and can be happy doing things on their own also develop a fierce independence!”

〜〜Higher Perspectives〜〜

 

Sources:

Meik Wiking in, The Little Book of Hygge.

wander-lush.org/solo-travel-alone-quotes/

www.higherperspectives

This article does not take the place of health professionals. This article speaks of my personal experience only and what works for me in my personal journey.

TRAVELING COZY

    With time, my mind will become completely calm and clear

〜 Selfpause.com 〜

It was an email that came to me this last July from an Inn in Kennebunkport, Maine. It happened to be 90-degrees in my hometown, so making reservations was not urgent for the Fall or Winter seasons.

Fall in New England is beautiful, with its leaf-peeping season, and winters just as magical with the charm of the snow on the ground. I was planning on driving from Boston to Vermont, New Hampshire, and then up to Maine.

The idea of traveling cozy came about throughout my travels, as I started to live more presently and organized. I had noticed a dramatic mindset improvement.

Looking deeper, I realized a connection between our mindset and our environments. Maybe it was the creative side of me, so I dug deeper. Asking myself:

1) Was the room organized or cluttered?

2) Were the colors in the rooms cheerful or loud to me?

3) Was the lighting warm or bright? 

4) Did the ambiance of the room make me feel good?

I wanted to replicate the same healthy feeling I had at home into my travels. The same vibe but more elevated and special. 

•  Does my environment make me want to stay or return? 

•  Did it bring the outdoors - inside?

•  Did it remind me of happy times?

•  Did it shout to me COZY?

•  Did my surroundings match the mood I wanted?

•  Were people welcoming?

After living this way for a few years, I realized changing my interior/exterior environments affected my mood. Empowering me to want to do things solo, like traveling, eating, and meeting people. To get out and socialize more. I felt confident!

An idea hit me - why not travel hygge (hoo-gah)? Which means living cozy to the Danish (Danes). To be hygge is to bring into their lives fireplaces, reading nooks, calming lights, and candles. Along with gathering of family and friends.

Realizing I wanted to feel this way when I traveled. So I combined the two (traveling and living hygge). Winter months were no longer boring and drab, but special. I would add a few things in my luggage that were cozy, and the rest to look for places that were quaint and welcoming.

First, I researched small towns or villages located in colder climates. I would not suggest picking small towns in Hawaii or Arizona, where coziness is not a thing, but maybe you can go there another time when you need that Vitamin D boost in the winter months. Just as important.

Secondly, I tend to look for places with rustic or a seaside vibe. Maybe a good idea is to choose a few restaurants, bars, wineries, bakeries, or coffee shops where you can find comfy foods and drinks to warm you up. Along with these nine cozy additions to your next holiday:

#1 - Small towns/Villages 

First, search for places that speak to you. Do you have a few favorite outdoor or indoor activities that you enjoy? Ones that would make the best memories, or stories to hand down.

What town speaks to you? Cute, cozy, or luxurious?

Try new places each year keeping things fun and interesting. How about staying in cabins, yurts, T.P.’s, or a cute trailer?

#2 - Bringing the Outside - In

My favorite thing is to bring the outside - in. Think branches, leaves, birds, and wildlife. Artwork lets you envision that you are outside, but you are inside. Well, I might have found a perfect solution for bringing the outside in on your next stay in  A Tree House - Skamania Lodge. It has gorgeous clean, modern, rustic lines rich in neutral colors! A great way to relax and separate yourself from reality with nights around a fire pit.

#3 - A good night's sleep

How your space (accommodations) make you feel is everything. If you are spending your time and money on this trip, why not have a good night's sleep in a comfortable bed? The softest bed, bedding, and pillows are a must for the perfect night's sleep.

Don’t skimp on your mindset work!

Telling yourself you deserve this luxury once in a while. Who knows when you will get the chance to experience it again? I love visiting the beach during winter months to watch storms. This gem was highly recommended by a friend,  at Stephanie Inn - Cannon Beach, OR.

#4 - Cozy up to fireplaces/bonfires/fire pits

To travel hygge, cozying up to a fireplace, stove, or firepit is un-mistakenly the best way to achieve it. Nothing speaks coziness like a fireplace. Even in a restaurant, lobby, or outside. Putting you almost in a trance and before you know it - relaxed.

Perfect after a long day of winter activities like skiing, boarding, snowshoeing, or hiking, where you will need to warm up those sore muscles. 

I have researched dude - ranches lately for a rustic like stay in the winter, and up popped this gem in Montana - Lone Mountain Ranch. You will be able to check off your list a perfect winter vacation along the lines of rustic & luxury accommodations. Romantic lighting and warm tones in their interior give you a feeling of peace.

#5 - Soft lighting 

Danes have a lot of history with lighting. "Danes select lamps carefully and place them strategically to create soothing pools of light. It is an art form, a science, and an industry.” Meik Wiking, the author of The Little Book of Hygge mentioned. Profitable throughout the years the Danish have sold lamps and lighting to go hand-in-hand with living happy.

#6 - Candles

Let us talk candles. "There is no faster way to get to hygge than to light a few candles or, as they are called in Danish levende lys, or living lights.” Meik Wiking mentions in the book The Little Book of Hygge - Danish Secrets To Happy Living

I know you might think packing a candle is weird, but I have found it calming after a long day of travel or activities. Try it, placing one by the bed, tub, or on a porch or veranda. I found a few ideas for you, Travel Candles for your next trip. 

Reading or doing creative projects are great by by candlelight. How about playing your favorite board game or building a puzzle while watching flickers of flames?

#7 - Pack warm & comfy clothing

Bring your favorite cozy sweaters, socks, coats, hats, and gloves. Be sure to pack your cutest boots, of course keeping safety in mind to staying dry and warm. No one wants to be miserable in the cold. 

Check out this adorable cute shop in Juneau, AK, the Shoefly Alaska I found it on one of my trips. They stock unique clothing and the cutest shoes and boots for the Fall and Winter months. Ladies, you may thank me later! 

Pack your softest loungewear for the days and nights you plan to stay inside. If you are anything like me, vacations are for taking a few days to recharge. Relax!

#8 - Socializing w/ locals or visitors

I love getting to know the locals during my travels, providing the perfect opportunity to discover the places history, traditions, and celebrations that they have throughout the year. 

Hint:  Even if you are traveling solo, I have found people love talking about their town or city. So don't be shy!

“ Blessed are those who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing ”

〜 Camille Pissarro 〜

Living a hygge or lagom lifestyle doesn't always mean staying solo, and not talking to people. It means quite the opposite with visiting often with family, friends, and meeting people regularly. It is a good thing to feel accepted and loved.

During your travels find the locals' favorite brewery, winery, or rustic restaurant. My favorite places I have found throughout the years have been unexpected, where I had to be motivated, open minded, allowing myself to open up and meet new people.

I have found the most charming coffee shops one was a Starbucks on the east coast where its’ home was an old historical building. It was so quaint with small doors and steps that came down from the street. A stove was snapped dab in the middle of the room where people huddled around it. I stayed all day writing and sipping my coffee there.

Another, was in Sitka, AK, a coffee shop that lives behind a bookstore, which has in the morning some yummy fresh baked goods, The locals and fishermen alike socialize before their day starts at the The Backdoor Café  

Another time I accidentally stepped into a cozy establishment was McSorley's Old Ale House on St. Paddy’s Day.

#9 - Sauna/steam room/spa

Lastly, we all need a bit of pampering, so why not make reservations before you go on your trip? A massage, facial, pedicure, or manicure!

Remember to find:

• Relaxing environments

• Spending a little time solo helps build confidence 

• Locals have stories

• Recharging is essential

• Listen to your gut about your environment

My hygge memory: A memory where I traveled to Whistler, B.C. Some of my friends and I stayed right in the heart of the village. The village was so quaint and rustic, with the best skiing, wide runs, and luxurious gondola I had ever been on so far. I was in awe as I looked down at the village's beauty.  

In the evening we enjoyed some amazing cuisine by the fire and played a game of Texas Train at the bar. I remember whispering and pinching myself, "I cannot believe I am here, in such a perfect setting, with great people, enjoying this cozy fireplace. I am dreaming, right?" 

Thanks to my memory, now I listen to what my atmosphere tells me, in hopes that I get those warm and peaceful feelings again. I can’t get enough of living - hygge (coziness). I try replicating it as much as I can, but everywhere I go is a little different.

So next time it is 90 - degrees outside, be prepared there is not much time tell you are enjoying those orange, red, and yellow leaves, again. Book it! Take that initiative and reserve that Inn in Kennebunkport, Maine. Search for that next perfect hygge experience to peacefully enjoy fireplaces, candles, and cozying up.

Make your next vacation HYGGE!                   

Love 〜 Jaci

Leaf Peeping - Canva

"The Kids' Table"

“Give thanks not just on Thanksgiving Day,

but every day of your life.

         Appreciate and never take for granted all that you have.”

〜〜Catherine Pulsifer〜〜

A memory came to me about Thanksgiving dinner. You would never have known it at school being an introvert and extremely shy, but around my family, I was a talker. You could not shut me up during the holidays. I anticipated my favorites, dark meat, mashed potatoes & gravy, and of course a few olives on my fingers. Blackberry pie from blackberries we picked that summer.

As a little girl, I grew a few inches each year. I was told often that I was "growing like a weed.” I would blush and hope that I was big enough for that adult table this year. Was I more mature and not annoying this year? Excited to be around people that loved me for ME!

I was demoted, depending on the cooks (older women in our family), mood changes, I figured. Was I still immature for adult conversation? The adult table was always so big in my adolescent eyes, filling up the whole living room, and there was the kids' card table for four.

                “Bless this Thanksgiving, I hope everyone is in a good mood and will be for Christmas, too,

                 “ I prayed. “True forgiveness is when you can say, “ Thank you for that experience.”

                                                                         〜Oprah Winfrey〜

My family was everything, and spending time with them was the highlight of my year. The more the merrier, gathering and talking about the years past and the year to come. I could not wait to see my uncles, aunts, and cousins, and I prepared every year to show up as myself in hopes to sit at the adult table. But do you know: “What I would not give to be seated at the kids' table,” with the family I love around me. Our family is smaller now, but I cherish the memories.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Love,

Jaci      

“The Hope Chest”

  “The Hope Chest”

A few years back I tackled my kitchen clutter. While organizing I remembered at the young age of nine how my aunt and grandma started preparing my hope chest. It got me thinking whether girls still get hope chests, or if that was still a thing. Today my hope chest sits with puzzles and games.

We are talking about the 1970’s. Where at the time I thought it was an old fashioned concept even then, and a fairytale way of thinking. Girls were taught to dream about the perfect marriage, almost like she had her hope chest for a dowry. Hoping at nine years old that my forever partner would not care that I only had a crocheted afghan instead of a wedding quilt for our bed. I smiled with that funny memory. I think I did buy a wedding quilt for one of my marriages.

Glassware and Plates - Was this hope chest for only married people?

My aunt picked out the patterns for all my girl cousins' glassware. We grew up like sisters. I remember I was jealous of one of their patterns, I liked hers better because of the style. Even back then I figured I had a designing mind. But hey I couldn't be choosy, I was lucky I got anything for Christmas. All I knew is that I could present my future husband some damn shiny dinner, or holiday plates.

So it was not surprising to discover I hardly ever used my dinnerware or glassware. But since they had sentimental value I could not part with them. I served a glass of wine or an appetizer or two. They ended up being the first thing to go on my organization journey.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD,”plans to prosper

you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

〜Jeremiah 29:11〜

Spices - Too Old?

My kitchen had tons of spices. I don't remember being taught to look at expiration dates unless it was on a yeast packet. Grandma was observant when it came to baking or canning supplies, but not spices. Every year she looked at those expiration dates on the seed packets for planting.

Purging happened in my kitchen with expired spices. I am embarrassed to say how old some of those spices were, but I am still living. I also lived through my childhood years. Don’t worry if you come to dinner all my spices are up to date, fresh, and organized.

Cookbooks and Recipes - In Hopes I Can Cook?

My hope chest had clippings from magazines, cookbooks, and several recipe boxes. I really don’t know why I didn’t have a career in the culinary arts because I cooked, baked, and canned everything growing up. I inherited my Grams’ box of Recipes Of The Month when I left home at 20 years old.

Throughout the years my collection of recipes and cookbooks grew. It was hard for me to let go of any of my cookbooks, recipes, and clippings. So I thought hard of how to organize this part of my life. Asking myself if I had used them in the last 30-40 years, and if I said “No,” then it went in the paper shredding pile or donated. I organized my magazine clippings into a temporary folder until I could look through them but they are soon to be trashed, I think. These days online platforms provide us with plenty of recipe options, and it helps us cooks organize in our kitchens.

  “The most indispensable ingredient of all good home cooking: love for those you are cooking for.

〜Sophia Loren〜

Kitchen Gadgets - Marriage A Fairytale?

I have to say I am thankful I kept my antique kitchen gadgets that were in my hope chest. Getting kitchen gadgets for Christmas gifts as a child, not fun or exciting at the time. I would have rather had a real barbie, but I loved my holiday time with my family.

Now, I display my vintage kitchen gadgets like art. If you love something, display it! Keeping some things in the kitchen without duplicating them. You don’t need 10 teaspoons or tablespoons. Vintage jars or kitchen gadgets are my thing.

My grandparents are gone, but I still have my hope chest and its memories. What it meant then and now! This is one tradition that I did not pass down to my girls, because I felt like all my children deserve a start for their future HOME!

I also felt in some way it is a tradition that gets our hopes up for something that might not even take place. Or not a personal choice. Giving us a type of false hope.

It is ok to let go of clutter that holds sentimental value, while you still have the memories in your heart.

Happiness is a place between too little & too much

    ~Finnish Proverb~

Love Jaci

Sourdough Is “The Bread”

I heard sourdough was “the bread” (original), I was fascinated. I had to know more about it’s origin. The oldest bread loaf was found back in Switzerland in 3500 BCE. The Egyptians in 1500 had a similar leavening process and in the mid-nineteenth century (1849) Boudin Bakery in San Francisco became famous for their loaf. 

Can you believe all bread originated as sourdough? All sourdough! It tops #2 on the healthiest bread list. Of course I imagine mine with lots of real butter and that possibly ruins the healthy part. Just delicious! 

Some of our regions take their starter recipes quite seriously. I grew up hearing about San Francisco’s products. San Francisco “Rice - a - Roni,” and San Francisco sourdough commercials. Do you know San Francisco sourdough starter began in the 1890's with hops & canned potatoes (openlibrary.org). That starter warmed up inside a pocket of a miner on the Klondike Gold Rush. 

Lots of cold climates like Alaska advertise their sourdough as the sourest of them all. I love a little competition don’t you? As long as I can test their warm slice of heaven.

Enjoy a slice today!

Alaska Sourest Dough (Starter) Recipe - Baking.Food.com

JDee

Sources:

openlibrary.org and Food.com

Customer Service Come Back Please

Photo Evgeni Techerkasski by Unsplash

So maybe I came from a generation where customer service is a top skill to have. Or that this pandemic has limited us from many things we use to think normal before. But….Does that mean be rude?

So you ask the man before me for his ID for alcohol that is my age or a little older. He says something like “July 1972” with a laugh and smile. She responds in a short manner “I need to see your actual ID please” obviously not thinking he’s funny. Taking the ID in her hands, touching to look at that possible fake ID. LOL (no cleaning her hands during or after)

Than my turn and I put my paper bag down (Cost 5 cents last time) she says really loud “I can’t touch that. “ Oh, really that was it for me. You just touched peoples ID, their food, and my food (all touched by who knows who) and you have to be rude?

Please be nice we are all in this together!

JDee

That Solo Retreat

I signed up for a women’s retreat at my local YMCA about 10 years ago. I was putting myself out there not knowing a soul, but this single mom of three needed an opportunity to relax. Yes I was nervous, especially sleeping in a bunk style cabin with 10 other women and sharing one bathroom.

The first day I remember signing up for kayaking and learning to knit. I was excited about my knitting lesson especially because I only knew how to crochet. I had been crocheting since I was 9 years old which had a calming effect on me, so I hoped knitting would present the same.

It was raining that October day and kayaking gave me the fresh air that I needed, and off I was to my knitting lesson. An amazing thing happened. I was absolutely hooked with this warm, cozy, almost like meditative atmosphere. Too bad there was not a fireplace to accompany the ambiance I was experiencing. I signed myself up to canoe and learn to knit everyday!

Attending that YMCA Fall women’s retreat by myself pushed me out of my comfort zone. My outside world at the time overwhelming and so therefore I found this combination of peaceful experiences quite refreshing.

Trying hobbies like knitting, crochet, and even a adult coloring books help us get in the mindset we deserve.

Refresh yourself with that brisk walk, than allow for some cozy and warmth time today!

Jaci